A little about me:
I’ve spent a large portion of my life by myself, usually on a computer doing something I always thought was productive. Because of this, I never had many friends and never socialized outside of school and sports. I had one good friend, however, and the two of us did lots of stuff together to pass the time. Over the past year though, we have gone separate paths with our education that we rarely get to say, “hey, how ya doin’?”. In addition to having only one good friend, I never expressed external emotion. I got accustomed to keeping my feelings inside, and eventually couldn’t explain what some of the feelings I felt where.
I made it to high school, and things got both better and worse. I met some more people, increased my social circle, but also found more people to hate on me. And because of that, I was broken down and eventually found little hope for myself. There were few things which retained their value to me. This went on for a few years. Over those years I met some girls, but I just never was given a chance to open up to any of them. In some cases, I feel I might have driven them away; for some still don’t speak to me. They progressed into their lives, while I stood firm in the memories we had shared, trying to salvage them forever. I had amazing times, and I know I will never forget the way these people made me feel. But in time, those feelings were suppressed by self-pity, neglect, depression, and a stubborn care-free attitude.
More recently, the walls were broken down and those feelings have soared beyond anything before. I met someone who changed my life the second we met. It wasn’t any drastic change, but that moment took me down a new path I never imagined would come (so soon). It felt like someone was finally giving me the chance to be me and free. I’ve never wanted to have to impress a lady to take her out, and I didn’t have to. Not to brag, but it is my belief that I a) open up to ladies more than men and b) can relate to ladies more than the majority of men can. I have no explanation as to why that is, but I just find it impossible to fit in around a group of males.
She and I meshed so well, things heated up in no time. Being with her has undoubtedly meant more than the world to me. Everyone dreams of the fairy-tale/Hollywood/romance novel relationship between a couple, yet everyone knows they don’t exist. That can be a good thing though. Would a relationship sustain if there was never anything to test the desire of one partner for the other? I believe that all the trials and tribulations we go through are tricks and deceptions of the devil to break you apart and tear you down. Fighting through those moments of heartache and pain can bring glorious and amazing moments to a relationship. That is what I strive for.
So where is my life right now? Well, I’ve taken up a job but it has come with sacrifices. I need a job, but I’ve missed time spent with my girlfriend, vacation, and I’m going to miss Graduation, June 11th. That has brought me to this whole new dilemma. There are a few special people who have stolen pieces of my heart forever. I don’t know if they will ever know exactly the impact they had by allowing me to be a part of their life. It was never anything too dramatic, but simply just being a friend to me when the world turn its back. I want to let them know, but I can’t think of an appropriate way to put it out there. I feel so terrible that I can’t see them graduate from the school we’ve spent so long together a part of; this old country school that, for both of us, has provided us so many opportunities and accomplishments. Some of our greatest moments of our youth happened inside the walls of that facility. Even more memorable to me are the moments we shared inside that school. I wish I had the opportunity to thank them and extend a life-long promise that no matter where I am, I will always be a friend for them. I hope never to lose touch, and with today’s technology, at least that hope looks promising. Whether my future lands me an eight figure bank account or a pat on the back, I can never deny where I came from, and the amazing lives who have kept me in the light.
I would like to end this by saying that writing, music, dancing, and programming are strong passions of mine. Every day of my life features at least a moment of each of these. I hope to become someone others will always want to remember. In other words, I hope to have the same impact on their lives as they have (have had) on mine. Promises are good, but actions make those promises worth something.
*I can’t promise you tomorrow, so I’ll love you today and when today becomes yesterday tomorrow, then forever my love is to stay*